


Don't worry about me

by UndeadVitriol



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Bad coping is bad, Eating Disorders, If there are errors I'll probably fix them, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Megatron is kinda dense, My boy needs to be selfish, No beta we die like mechs, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Driftrod, Past Relationship(s), Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Rodimus is way too concerned with everyone elses feelings, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Tags May Change, Valve Plugs (Transformers)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:40:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21717811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndeadVitriol/pseuds/UndeadVitriol
Summary: Rodimus exvented heavily, his optics groggily onlined. His frame was warming, and the warning message pinged on his HUD and he dismissed it with a grunt. He sat up on his berth and put his helm in his servos. He wasn’t going to Ratchet, that much he knew right away. Not because he was embarrassed, he was never embarrassed. Okay, maybe not never. It was a pride thing, absolutely. It was just a regular heat cycle. That he hadn't properly had since before the war how bad could it be?
Relationships: Drift | Deadlock/Ratchet, Drift | Deadlock/Rodimus, Megatron/Rodimus, Rodimus/Thunderclash
Comments: 27
Kudos: 183





	1. Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a fic for either Transformers or AO3 soooo... First time for everything I guess.

Rodimus exvented heavily, his optics groggily onlined. His frame was warming, and the warning message pinged on his HUD and he dismissed it with a grunt. He sat up on his berth and put his helm in his servos. He wasn’t going to Ratchet, that much he knew right away. Not because he was embarrassed, he was never embarrassed. Okay, maybe not never. It was a pride thing, absolutely. He would never live it down if went hobbling over to the Medbay to ask Ratchet for some dampening codes to help him through his heat with as little discomfort as possible. He knew if he wanted to, he could hole himself up inside his habsuite for the duration of it, but would likely get an audial full from both Magnus and Megatron for skimping on duty for a week. He groaned and checked the time; he was to be on duty in a few hours. His options were either go to Ratchet and get a dampening code, ignore his whole situation and try to go about things like he wasn’t furiously leaking lubricant, get a partner, or just pass out in his own coding and wait a week. Rodimus knew which one sounded most like what he’d prefer. He got a message in his comm, it was from Drift.

_Hey! We’re on for sparring after your shift today, no chickening out today! :3_

Rodimus snickered at Drift’s message. Drift had started using Earth texting and it was absolutely hilarious to Rodimus in its absurdity. A new thought popped into Rodimus’ brain.

_Drift might be down for helping me through my heat._

He shook his helm at the thought. Their relationship wasn’t like that, at least, not in the way Rodimus wanted and as far as he was concerned he’d much rather ask for a dampener from Ratchet then ask if he could borrow his Conjunx to ride out a heat cycle with his Amica, even if they had interfaced in the past. Rodimus figured that their relationship was complicated enough without adding this to Drift and Ratchet’s new Conjunx bond. Plus, he didn’t want to feel any guilt in Drift’s field when merging about being with him instead of Ratchet in that time, and he doubted Drift wanted to feel Rodimus’ own guilt in his field for asking him. He went back to the message and replied back.

_I’m no chicken! :P See you then!_

His armor flexed and he felt steam escape and he sharply vented. This was going to be a long week.

* * * 

He pinged the door to open and walked onto the bridge. Almost instantly Thunderclash gave him a warm smile and waved to Rodimus from the other side of the room. In any other circumstance, his knee jerk reaction would be to squint at the tacky paint job having mech, but Rodimus found himself grinning and gave a slight nod, much to Thunderclash’s delight.

_FRAG_

Rodimus also internally grimaced when the flashy mech’s grin sent a jolt to his array. Before he could even think about entertaining the idea of having a horrible heat cycle with Blundercrash, Magnus gave him a quizzical look.

“What? I’m not late! I’m even… two minutes early!” Rodimus huffed at Magnus, who simply took a click to register what Rodimus had said.

“Oh, no. Captain, I was not-” Ultra Magnus rebooted his vocalizer. “I just was surprised you acknowledged Thunderclash just now, since you are often voicing your dislike of him.” Rodimus was thinking of a way to get him out of this conversation without saying _Oh, well I’ve got an excess of lubricant and I mean… Thunders has GOT to be packing. I mean, size proportionally he’s gotta have a MONSTER SP-_  
“I apologize, it’s none of my business captain. Disregard my remarks.” Magnus quickly blurted out before Rodimus could continue his train of thought.

“Oh yeah, it’s no problem Mags.” He laughed nervously. _Speaking of proportionally corresponding sizes- NO._ He wouldn’t let his processor finish those thoughts, not when Magnus was right next to him. He fought the urge to shake his helm. This shift is going to be torture.

For the majority of his shift, he was fine dealing with the occasional biting back flirty comments because he couldn’t trust himself to stop once the ball got rolling as well as struggling to keep his spoiler from twitching and armor from bulging in places to vent out steam. He was certain if he didn’t die from embarrassment, he’d prefer it to having Magnus chide him for not getting a dampening code cycles ago. Just when Rodimus was thinking that it was going to be not that bad, Megatron walked onto the bridge. Which in and of itself usually sends a bit of an annoyed jolt into him, but especially now. Not that Rodimus didn’t like Megatron, far from it. In the past it was hard for him to get over feeling like he was being watched over like a sparkling whenever both Magnus and Megatron were on the bridge with him. But recently he found himself stealing glances more at Megatron and finding his thoughts wandering to him a little more than just being professional co-captains, or even as friends would be. With this… this was too much. He couldn’t keep his smirk from stretching across his face when Megatron took the bridge, and to make matters worse turned to Rodimus who couldn’t wipe it off his face fast enough and quickly turned around, only to meet optics with Thunderclash again who nodded in his direction. Rodimus violently scowled at Thunderclash and immediately stuck his helm into reports Magnus had handed him at the start of his shift. Anything is better than looking at anyone right now. He thought while exventing angrily as his armor struggled to flex, to let any steam escape. A warning message pinged in his HUD and he dismissed it outright and sent his datapad into his subspace. Yeah, lemme just vent out my heat steam and send everyone in a fragging heat induced haze on the bridge. Rodimus snorted to himself. Before he could add anything else to his internal sarcastic tirade, Megatron shifted next to him.

“Did you hear anything I just said?” He asked Rodimus, clearly exasperated. Rodimus sheepishly grinned.

“Uh, I was doing paperwork. You know, that thing that you and Magnus always get after me for not doing properly? I thought you both would appreciate that I was doing some!” He said in mock disbelief as he held up a datapad next to him. Megatron gave him a look, the kind that seemed to convey all of the needed disbelief of his statement.

“That datapad is from four decacycles ago. That’s also the datapad you filled out incorrectly and Magnus got after you for. If you’re seriously going to change anything about it at this point, you will absolutely send him into a tirade.” I highly doubt that, as funny as that sounds Rodimus thought as he looked over the datapad before dropping it back onto the desk. “I said that you could leave the bridge unless there’s other business you need to take care of here.”  
Rodimus blinked. Oh yeah, if Megs was here it was because his shift was over. If Rodimus’ processor wasn’t so fried from trying to keep everything controlled, he probably would have bolted the second Megatron walked onto the bridge. But as Megatron was in next to him, he had completely forgot what he was supposed to be doing. He just stared at Megatron and for longer than he would have liked, let his processor wander for a moment before clenching his servos to attempt to focus. Megatron noticed his optics hazed over for a click and opened his mouth to say something and Rodimus saw a red blink in his HUD and before his panic could settle in, his spoiler jerked upwards, and a short burst of steam jutted out from the movement. Megatron’s optics widened and Rodimus felt his plating heat up further but from embarrassment, he stood bolt upright and headed for the door.

“Well, you know how I get when reading those thrilling reports! Don’t have to tell me twice to leave, bye!” Before Megatron could get a single word in, Rodimus was out the door and once he was sure no one was in sight he bolted straight for his hab and locked the door. Once the door clicked, he opened his armor and let a huge vent surge through him, the room got fogged up from the amount of steam. He then opened his modesty panel and heard the gush of lubricants hit the floor and he loudly whimpered. The room started spinning, he staggered towards his berth and fell face first into the sheets. He quickly wondered if anyone else on the bridge noticed his vent. No, probably not. Plus, his spoiler jerking up wouldn’t be that bad of a thing for someone to notice, he could just play it off as being excited to get off the bridge. The only one who knew what happened was-

_Hey! Where are you?_

Ah frag. Drift. Would it be so bad to be called a coward by one’s Amica for a day? Probably not, but Drift would likely worry if he didn’t say anything.

_Are you alright? You don’t have to spar if you don’t feel like it today._

He groaned and rolled over on his berth as he figured out what to tell Drift. He absentmindedly dragged his servos over his valve and whimpered when he felt how swollen everything was and how much he wanted friction. He began circling his outer node and bit his lower lip as he tried to get one overload in after letting it go on for so long ignoring it. His armor pulsed again, and another jut of steam shot out and Rodimus whined as a sharp jolt of pleasure shot through him as he found his rhythm and pressure on his node. He felt his spoiler jump up as he increased the speed of his servos against his node and dug his pronged toes into the berth. He threw his helm back into the berth, clenching his denta to keep himself from making too much noise as he felt himself get closer to his overload. A message pinged in his HUD, which was quickly dismissed and ignored, he was too close. He could feel himself get closer, he dipped a servo into his valve lips and went back to his node before he felt the electricity crackling around his thighs and sharply hit his helm against his berth as he hit his overload. A silent moan hung on his open intake as he trashed his helm into the berth in frustration as charge began building again between his thighs. A warning message popped up and as Rodimus grunted, he opened it.

**Low energon**

OH FRAG. When did he last refuel? His optics got hazy as sleep started to chase him from a combination of low fuel and an overload. He started to sit up to look for energon in his hab, to be hit with an intense vertigo and immediately fell back into his berth. Oh whatever, I’ll just refuel when I wake up. Was Rodimus’ last thoughts before he fell into recharge.

* * *

Rodimus woke up when he heard the slide of his hab door open. He onlined his optics and tried to see who walked in. He shifted up and remembered three things at the exact same time. 1: He hadn’t refueled since hours, possibly a full cycle before he fell into recharge. 2: That the bot who had walked in was Drift, who he completely forgot to message back and was probably worried sick about him, and when he saw his face knew that was the case. 3: He was in the early stages of his heat, with his Amica, alone, after he determinedly decided against asking Drift for any help.

His optics met with Drifts and he saw the worry in Drift’s face shift to a different expression, one Rodimus hadn’t seen in a long time.  
“No!” He yelled as Drift took a step forward and stopped. “I don’t want…I don’t want your help with this!” Rodimus pulled his pedes up to his chest as he scurried further on his berth away from Drift. He felt Drift’s field trying to touch his, it was full of understanding, compassion, and… Rodimus frowned.

“And I was going to get all mad at you for skimping on sparing, but I can see why.” Drift chuckled. He took a few steps forward, the confusion and caution from Rodimus’ field mixing into Drift’s field. “Hey, I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. I’m not some animal.” Rodimus felt guilty that Drift said that.

“It’s not that!” His spoiler jerked upwards at his statement. “It’s that I’m not going to mess up anything between you and Ratchet. Don’t tell me it’ll be fine, and Ratchet will be okay with it, because I know he won’t be and I’m not going to ask that of you!” He tried to keep his tone even, but he heard his vocalizer shake a few times and saw the sadness and empathy in Drift’s face made him want to crumple in on himself further. “I just… Think it’s best if I just deal with this myself alright? And don’t tell Ratchet, the fewer bots that know about this, the better. I can only get so embarrassed in one cycle.” He muttered.

“Ah, it’s not that bad. I’ve walked in on you in more compromising times.” Drift smirked then blinked. “Unless someone else knows?” Drift’s fins twitched up in interest. Rodimus felt his armor redden and looked down. He felt Drift’s field get energized and curious as he sat on the edge of Rodimus’ berth. “Tell me. I’m not leaving until you tell me~” He sweetly demaned.

“Megatron… He caught me looking at him for too long and I vented steam out right in front of him.” Rodimus fell back into the berth. “So if you could bury me alive, that’d be great.” Drift laughed despite getting a glare from Rodimus.

“Not a chance, but hey do you need me to get you a dampening code from Ratchet? I don’t want you being miserable for the rest of this week.” Drift looked at his Amica with pure empathy seeping from his frame. Rodimus just clutched his legs closer to his chest. He tried his best to ignore the intense pull in his coding to pull Drift closer and frag whatever consequences, after all, it was probably just as hard for Drift to avoid.

“No. I can ignore this. I don’t need a dampening code. I just need to let some steam out in my hab and avoid Megatron this week. Or forever, that can be fine too.” Drift only snickered.

“You can’t avoid him forever Roddy, but I respect your decision. Just let me know if you change your mind about getting a dampener, I know it’s only going to make Ratty huffy when he eventually learns this happened.” Rodimus groaned and Drift shrugged. “It’s not like I can hide things from him forever.”

“I know, I just don’t wanna get a talking to from anyone about this. I can deal with ‘Rodimus, don’t throw yourself into the battle to keep others out of the danger, Rodimus don’t burn down the entire building with yourself in it, Rodimus don’t race down the hallway in your alt mode.’ But a ‘you never got a heat dampener after the war’? And from Ratchet? No way. I’d rather fight an army of sparkeaters.” Drift laughed again.

“That’s because you actual-” Drift clapped a servo on Rodimus’ thigh, who jolted upwards and his armor convulsed as a vent of steam shot out from his armor, and all of his armor started rattling at the foreign servo on his plating. Drift’s optics widened as the heat from Rodimus’ plating shot through his servo and then his optics met Rodimus’. Desperation flooded Rodimus’ field but he tried to reel in the desire before Drift noticed. Unfortunately, he knew Drift has sensed it, coupled with the steam in his olfactory senses and felt the desire start to come from Drift’s field again. Rodimus shrinked into his berth more as Drift leaned forward.

“Please go.” He barely let the words leave his intake and pushed a servo into Drift’s chestplate, the heat from his servo against Drift’s cool armor seemingly bringing Drift out of his stupor.

“Uh, right.” Drift blinked, his voice heavy with static. He made way for the door before repeating over his shoulder. “I’m serious about letting me know if you need a dampener.” Rodimus smiled, ease beginning to wash over him.

“Yeah, I’ll let you know.”


	2. Soaked and Surly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to write a heat fic that's a little less non-con/fuck leading to OTP, and trying to go for a (albeit, humorous) realistic-ish way for the ships to sail.  
> Oh yeah, slight TW/CW for eating disorder mentions.

_Maybe dying of embarrassment isn’t impossible after all._ Rodimus rolled over in his berth venting angrily in his habsuite. Nothing had really changed since he shooed Drift out a few hours ago.

_Maybe some Engex at Swerve's will help..._

He swung his legs over the side and stood up only to get a jolt of energy up his thigh plates when they rubbed together. He winced and felt like caving into his berth again. Maybe another overload would be good before going into the bar.

_No way, I'm not some stupid uncontrollable mech. I've had heats before. They always suck, but I can handle this. I've stared down so much slag, this is nothing!_

Determined, against better judgement a small voice seemed to say, he let out a large vent of steam to at least attempt to be calm before opening his hab door to head to Swerve's.

_What's so bad about a few drinks? I need to calm down and get some fuel...high grade is a type of fuel..._

He continued to convince himself as he walked down the hallway, ignoring the pings in his HUD to let his spoiler dance around more and to allow for more venting between his plating. He gritted his denta and kept walking until he made it through the door of the bar. He saw the usuals there- Cyclonus, Tailgate, and Whirl all were crowding one table with Tailgate laughing at some ridiculous thing Whirl had said while waving his arms about, seemingly to get Cyclonus to engage more in his story, who merely just stared back, emotionless at the helicopter's expressive motions. At another table he saw Nautica and Brainstorm talking about something that if Rodimus cared to listen in on, well he'd probably be lost about it anyways. Too much science stuff to even worry about. He headed to the bar and grimaced when he saw the three figures already seated there. First, he saw Drift, who looked just as upset to see Rodimus there in his condition. Second, Ratchet was next to Drift, and he was NOT going to have this conversation at Swerve's. And finally, it was Thunderclash sitting at the other side, who smiled and raised his cube in Rodimus' direction.

_Every day, I stray further from Primus' light._

"Hey Roddy, you feeling okay? You look kinda tired." Drift said, caution seeping into his tone. Rodimus frowned again and shrugged.

"I feel fantastic, I'll have you know. Hey Swerve! If you can just slide me my regular~" Drift raised an optic at Rodimus' blatant refusal of Drift's easy out. "Sometimes a good quick recharge is all you need! Heeeeey Ratchet! Don't see you here too often!" Rodimus gave a small wave to Ratchet, who huffed in response.

"Well, I can't stay hulled up in the medbay _all_ the time." He glanced at Drift and then quickly turned his head and looked down at his drink on the counter. "I try to be social, sometimes." Rodimus smiled, a genuine one seeing Ratchet trying to avoid Drift's gaze as he was flustered, clearly Drift had convinced the medic to attempt to take some time off to spend with him and the brief smile Drift gave him made Rodimus happy to see his two friends together. At least until Drift turned back around and gave Rodimus a glare.

"Well, if you're not feeling bad, I'm glad you're here. But do you have duty again soon? You shouldn't be drinking. Maybe just some Energon." Rodimus twisted his face.

"Uh, no. My shift ended hours ago. I don't have duty until next cycle so if you don't mind, I'm going to have some engex." He felt his spoiler scream to twitch in annoyance. Drift gave him a hard look and even Ratchet looked like he was about to say something, but a message pinged in Rodimus' HUD

 _Drift: I know you don't have duty, but I have a feeling that you haven't fueled in a while. Don't make me feed you in this bar, because I'll do it!_ The message flashed in Rodimus' HUD and he shrinked back into his stool and put his helm on the countertop.

"UGH. FIne. I'll have some regular Energon." He grabbed his engex that Swerve had placed in front of him while he was talking to Ratchet and Drift and raised it to his intake. "But I'm still going to drink this first." Drift's servo twitched and for a click Rodimus realized that Drift almost smacked it out of his own servo. He gulped the drink down his intake and slammed the glass back down. "There, see? All gone. I promise to drink my energon, _carrier_." Rodimus didn't like fighting with Drift, but he wasn't exactly up for being pushed around. Drift didn't understand why this was all so grating to Rodimus' nerves, why he felt like he had to push through his heat alone.

"Uh, here." Swerve placed a cube of heated energon next to Rodimus' empty abused glass of engex before Swerve slowly took it back. "And uh, try to not slam the glass down? I don't want to make you buy me a replacement glass." Rodimus felt his embarrassment and anger rise as he pulled the energon up to his intake and choked it down. He hated this. Being forced to refuel, particularly by Drift. He knows that he cares, but he was always a bit upset that Drift wasn't as sensitive about refueling. He put the glass down on the counter and stared at the pink liquid swirling around in the cup. He knew it was hard to overcome his negligence to refuel since the war, but since the 'adventures' had gotten more and more out of hand and worse things kept happening to them, Rodimus found himself slipping into refueling less and less. He clenched his servo around the glass. In the war it made sense to ration one's energon to make it last longer. But on his own ship? Rodimus just had a good ol fashioned eating disorder. He felt Drift's servo on his shoulder, panic rising for a second as he felt how cool Drift's hand was.

"Hey, really are you alright?" Drift asked, empathy clear in his optics. Rodimus gritted his denta. _STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT_ He looked at Drift's arm and then let his optics roam over Drift's plating, his heat coding begging him to reach out, but then he saw Ratchet's hand holding Drift's other servo under the bar he whipped his helm up and couldn't hold back the glare in his optics. _DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. HE'S RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT NOT ME_ Rodimus opened his intake to say something, probably nothing good, when he heard something break. Very loudly. And a little too close. At first he was worried that someone was starting a bar fight, but then he felt the worry in Drift's field and he heard Thundercrash's voice.

"Oh! Captain, are you alright?" Rodimus scowled at hearing his voice, there was worry in the large mech's optics and Rodimus leaned into the counter more.

"Yes, I'm fine. Stay out of this! I don't need to be spark-sat by Drift, Ratchet, and least of all, _you_." Thunderclash seemingly ignored the insult, as he often does but the worry was still clear on his face.

"Roddy..." Drift started and Rodimus darted his optics back to Drift, anger seething off his frame.

"What? I told you I'm fine! Now, who's throwing bottles in this place?" He lifted his servo to raise it to his helm and felt a cool slickness running down his servo. He looked down and saw the source of the breaking noise. _I guess I gotta buy Swerve a new glass_ His servo was sliced open from shattering it in his vice grip. He vented heavily and threw extra credits into the counter. He made a move to get up from the bar, but Ratchet reached over Drift and grabbed his arm.

"Now wait just a click." Rodimus turned and tried to hide his glare from him, he barely did. Ratchet met him with a sour look, but he tried his best to appear calm. "I don't know why you and Drift are fighting like two Turbofoxes, and I'm not sure I care, but you've sliced up your hand pretty bad, kid. Can you two be civil long enough so I can check this out?" Now Rodimus really felt like an aft end in front of the whole bar. He nodded and then wriggled out of Ratchet's grip. He lifted his servo up to Ratchet, much to Drift's ease. While Ratchet looked at his servo, Rodimus had two messages ping in his HUD. He felt a warm fire on his palm as Ratchet was doing a quick-fix weld.

_Drift: Sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you. I know you're sensitive about it, but you're pushing yourself too much right now. I care about you and I don't want you to hurt yourself by being too stubborn to accept help._

_Ratchet: Kid, your plating is way too hot to be just your frame. I better see you in the medbay tomorrow and if this is what I think it is and you've been ignoring it, I_ swear _I'm going to hit you with a wrench!_ Rodimus exvented in frustration as Ratchet released his servo.

"It'll be fine, but I want you to stop smashing glasses. I'm sure Swerve would appreciate it too." He nodded over to Swerve who was picking up the shards off the counter top and he nodded in response, looking a bit miffed after he just asked Rodimus to not break anything. Rodimus just let his spoiler droop again and he stood up.

"Yeah. I should probably get out of here. Probably take another nap." Now it was Ratchet's turn to give Rodimus a look.

"Really? You've barely been here and you're already bolting out because you're... tired?" Even Rodimus was disappointed with his weak excuse. "You sure you're feeling alright kid?" Rodimus gave the couple a weak thumbs up.

"Yeah, I'm just really stressed out. Just reports and all. I'll probably feel better after a nap." He started to turn then looked back at Drift. "I'll probably recharge better with my tank full too." He added, a bit self consciously. Drift just smiled in response. He gave them both a slight wave and ignored the looks of the other bots as he left considering the scene he caused. He just wished a hole could be blown in the floor below him and suck him into the vacuum of space. 

He trudged back to his hab, thoughts swirling around his processor. _Why did I do that? Why do I have to prove that I'm so tough all the time?_ He sent the code for his hab door to open, and walked inside and grabbed an energon goodie tin from a shelf inside. He bit into a stick and let out a huge vent of steam. _things were easier before. Why couldn't I go into heat stellar-cycles ago? Before all this conjunx bonding and stuff happened?_ He sat in his hab, sadly munching away on the goodies as a warning popped up on his HUD

**Heat protocol initiated: Seek partner - _message 20 mega-cycles ago_**

Rodimus gagged. _Not a chance_ He was getting to be in the worst swing of his heat, and if he did decide to get that dampener as Ratchet would likely insist, or force, him to take in a few cycles, he had nothing to worry about. He went back to his snacks when he felt a strong jolt into his array and he dropped the tin and whimpered sinking to his knees. He splayed his servos out in front of him as he saw the warning appear and accepted it. His panel slid and his spike pressurized immediately and he felt lubricants streak his thighs and splatter onto the floor. He went to take his spike into his servo when a message popped up on his HUD

**Request to open habsuite door**

Rodimus gritted his denta. _LEAVE ME ALONE_

**Door code input recieved**

_WHAT_

Ignoring his requests was one thing, but going into his quarters without asking was another thing. Rodimus felt anger bubble up in his chest, along with his arousal and he picked his tin up off the floor. He painfully forced his spike back into its housing and his valve cover back, biting into his lip plate to keep from whimpering too much. He glared at the door waiting to throw his tin at Drift's helm when he walked into the hab.

_Fine, you wanna act this way. Be that way._

The door slid open and Rodimus was so caught up in his aroused anger that a vent of steam gushed out from behind his backstrut and he made a fist with his other servo. He saw a figure take a step towards him in the fog from the steam.

“Back off!” Rodimus yelled raising his energon goodie tin in his servo. “I’m armed and horny!” Rodimus saw the figure move towards him again, and he threw the tin at the figure, dully thudding against a helm. "Just leave me alone Drift, I'll see Ratchet in a few cycles okay? I'm already dying of embarrassment dealing with this as it is! I don't care what Ratchet said OR agreed to, I don't want you to _help_ me through my heat, ok?!" As he finished spitting his words out the steam had settled and he was face to face, or face to chestplate, with Megatron who was looking very confused and shocked at what he heard.

_Primus is real, let him kill me now_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no way I'm going to write a chapter a day but here you go for now! ^w^
> 
> Also I feel like this is semi-slow burn. I never thought I'd write one.
> 
> Oops


	3. A what now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodimuuuuus! You've got some splaining to do! Or alternatively, Megatron cannot fathom how Rodimus has survived for this long.

_Of all the ways I could have died of embarrassment, this one is not my preferred way._

Rodimus was frozen to the spot as Megatron stared at him, his intake open as if he was going to say something but his train of thought was derailed. Or blown up as Rodimus figured.

“Well fragging say something or leave! I can’t stand this anticipation!” Rodimus spat, his spoiler twitching angrily. Megatron blinked as if Rodimus’ outburst snapped him out of his daze. Rodimus was normally used to Megatron being at a loss for word at his actions, but this was different. Something Rodimus was not happy about at all. The worst part was Rodimus was unsure if Megatron was speechless because of the situation, or if the heating protocol was having an effect on him.

_Great, the only way he notices me is when I’m radiating mating signals._

“I uh… came over to check on you. Your behavior was um… Unusual and I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Megatron seemed to be stumbling over his words which was throwing Rodimus for a loop.

 _Maybe he didn’t notice what the vent was for earlier._ Rodimus was hoping for a sliver of light to not be as embarrassed as he had been. He shifted his stance away from Megatron, seeing a warning blip in his HUD flash rapidly.

“But, I suppose not since you just said you’re in… ah... um” Megatron turned his helm to the side slightly, almost as if-

“I’m fine, I just want to be alone. I don’t want to be around anyone right now for… Reasons. It’s no big deal.” He felt his armor bulging in protest to vent again.  
_FRAG Why did it have to be Megs? Why couldn’t it have been LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE?_ Megatron turned his helm back to Rodimus and he looked like he was going to say something, but kept loosing the nerve to say whatever it was.  
_Just spit it out, dammit! Then you can leave and we can pretend like this never happened. Stupid. Stupid. I’m so stupid for letting this happen._ Rodimus internally berated himself for not taking Drift’s advice and getting the stupid dampening code cycles ago. He never would be facing Megatron in such a state.

“I- what I mean to say is- well, uh… Rodimus-“ Megatron never finished his sentence because at that moment Rodimus saw the flashing blip again, only to feel the panic settle in as his armor gave away and a vent shot out. Megatron’s optics flashed and Rodimus felt his face plate heat up and jerked his helm away.

“Just… go. Whatever you’re going to say about dampening codes, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it, I’m seeing Ratchet in a few cycles.” Megatron furrowed his optical bridge.

“A dampener? This late into your heat?” Rodimus shot Megatron a seething look.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been in it! Besides, it’s better late than never, right?” Megatron stared blankly at Rodimus.

“You- When was your last heat? Without dampeners I mean.” Rodimus flared up. WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT Megatron seemed to notice Rodimus’ flash of anger and held his servos up. “Not to pry, but I am going to guess it was either before or during the war, am I correct?”

“...Yes. But I’ve been using dampeners for my last eight or nine heats, it’s no big deal. You know the surcease one” Rodimus felt his spoiler begin to twitch more frantically, not certain if it was due to his anger or his heat. He saw Megatron’s expression get more and more incredulous with each admission he made. The last one however, made Megatron’s reboot his optics in the most shocked expression Rodimus had ever seen him give him.

“That dampener is a delay code.” Rodimus felt the room go sideways.

“A what.” Megatron leaned forward slightly, the look of shock only increasing.

“That. Dampener. Is. A. Delay. Code. You haven’t really had a heat since the war? You’ve… You’ve just pushed the heat back.” Rodimus felt himself shrink back into his habsuite, his processor started working overtime, he started shaking. “You- nine heats… How- How did you not know this? Didn’t any of your medics tell you this?” Rodimus was full on panic mode at this point. His processor was drowning in heat coding he couldn’t put off and now he has Megatron near him at the only time he would want him to be as far away as possible. Megatron took a step towards Rodimus but he was stopped by Rodimus throwing his servos in front of him, as if he was keeping Megatron at bay.

“I don’t know! I don’t know a lot of things! Ask Drift!” He could feel lubricant filling his optics. _I’m such an idiot! I can’t believe I let this happen to myself. Why do I have to be so fragging tough? Why can’t I just accept help? WHY-_

“Rodimus, how- No this is none of my business, I shouldn’t- I-“ Rodimus looked at Megatron who was struggling for words more than before, he saw another rapid flash in his HUD and before he could register what it said he yelped and doubled over. He saw Megatron move towards him, but Rodimus stuck out his servo with his digits splayed out.

“No… just, leave me alone! I don’t want y- I don’t want to be around anyone!” He gritted his denta as he tried to avoid Megatron noticing the lubricant leaking around his panel. _If Primus is real, I’ve killed him. Or maybe he has simply left the building as I stand here, in the middle of my fragging door way to my habsuite, with lubricant sliding out from behind my panel while Megatron is standing in front of me. Maybe dying of embarrassment isn’t impossible after all._ Megatron remained where he stood and Rodimus did his best to keep his field tight and close to himself. His only worry was he would feel Megatron’s and it would be filled with disgust and irritation for Rodimus being such an idiot.

“Look, if you can avoid it… just don’t bring it up to anyone. I’m seeing Ratchet soon.” He exvented as he backed up, refusing to raise his helm and staying mostly hunched over to block Megatron’s gaze.

“Rodimus, you can’t put another dampener on this late into your heat, and your surcease codes only complicate things. You’re most likely stuck until it’s over.” Rodimus at this point snapped his helm up to yell something at Megatron, lubricant freely leaking from his optics, in anger and embarrassment. But he completely forgot what he was going to say when he saw Megatron’s expression. His optics looked a bit vacant, wherever Megatron was, it certainly wasn’t here. But there was a darkness behind them, and it sent a jolt straight to Rodimus’ array. _Okay, I have two options. One; close and lock my door, change my lock, stay holed up until it’s over. Or two; invite Megs in and have him hate me more than he does._ A blip flashed on his HUD and Rodimus couldn't help but give into the coding. It was a blip for his field and he instantly regretted letting it out.

“Sorry, I can’t keep it all locked down. It’s… getting difficult to keep everything restrained.” Rodimus blurted, feeling his faceplates heat up. “Just go, we can act like this never happened.” He felt his field brush against Megatron’s and braced for the emotions to come as he flinched, only to be nearly blown back by the wave of arousal he felt, also irritation and anger, but it wasn’t directed to him. At least not all of it. Rodimus let himself hope for something for a nano click, then it went away, like a rubber band being snapped. Megatron shifted away from Rodimus, but he felt a flicker of embarrassment in his field before he could retract his fully.

“My apologies, I… Haven’t been in a situation like this in a long time and- It’s probably just the coding. I would never attempt to take advantage of you in such a state.” 

_PLEASE take advantage of me_ Rodimus’ heat riddled frame felt like screaming. _Okay, three options._

“I’m not some animal! I still can control myself, in case you haven’t noticed!” He felt his spoiler twitch more, not from his anger this time. “You wouldn’t be taking advantage of me, I still function. I function excellently during my heats! I just get all fuzzy during it is all.” He flushed at the honesty of his own statement. Yes, just tell him you want him to frag you into next week while you are vibrating with sexual need, you absolute clod. He saw Megatron’s optics shift towards him, that same darkness behind them. Rodimus felt his panel jolt again.

_FRAG_

“I mean, not that I’m saying anything about this or anyone-“ Great. Ramble. That isn’t obvious at all. With any luck, he won’t believe you and chalk it up to your heat coding. He began fidgeting with the paint on his servos, while twisting his frame away from Megatron’s gaze, his spoiler dancing freely as he berated himself internally again. He heard Megatron speak but his voice was barely audible. 

“Don’t tempt me Rodimus.” Rodimus felt a strange new resolve settle inside of him. Okay. Now I have two new choices. Lock this door right now or- He felt his spoiler raise and twitch intensely as he met Megatron’s hazy look with an heady look of his own as he felt his previous want to avoid this slipping away as he was giving more and more into his coding. In reality, if Rodimus pushed aside his attraction to Megatron as well as his feelings he harbored for the larger grey mech, there are fewer Bots he trusted to be a partner through a long and painful heat, Drift being one of them. In reality, this would be the least terrible way to have it completely take over him, except for the fact that new he’s going to have to deal with the guilt of his heat pushing him to do this with Megatron.

“Why did you come here? You saw me vent steam earlier, you knew what was happening to me. Don’t act like I’m stupid!” He saw Megatron turn away, as if he had been caught. _I knew he didn’t really care. He’s only here because of my heat. Well, there’s worse ways than spending it with a one way crush I guess._

“Megs, it hurts, but I can’t ask you this.” Megatron’s optical ridge raised and he opened his intake as if he was making one last attempt to reason with himself but shut it just as quickly. Rodimus stood up fully, his previous embarrassment slowly slipping away, and he felt his field stretching out to meet Megatron’s and he stopped repressing the flashes from his HUD. He felt a vent of steam escape from his back strut and gave a heavy exvent himself. “But, I really want to ask you to be the one I can trust this time.” He saw a flash of something in Megatron’s optics, but it was gone before he could identify it. Megatron’s shoulders sagged and Rodimus felt his field hit Megatron’s at the moment he took a step forward to attempt to pull Megatron inside. Desire coursed through his field and Rodimus was completely overwhelmed at the intensity of it. 

_Probably because my coding is kicking into overdrive._ Rodimus thought as he put in the code to close the door as Megatron took a tentative few steps into the habsuite as Rodimus led him inside. Once the door locked he was grabbed by the shoulders and Megatron bent his helm down.

“Are you certain about this? You- you’re in heat and I don’t want you to think that I’m… That I think of you as-“ Rodimus placed his servo on Megatron’s chestplate.

“Just let me have this. I know what I’m doing. I know what I want and if in a cycle you hated this and don’t want to talk about it, don’t worry about it.” Rodimus lifted his helm up to meet Megatron’s heated gaze, his faceplate radiating heat of its own now. Megatron gave one last glance towards the hab door before shaking off whatever thought was in his processor before turning back to Rodimus and pulling him into a searing kiss.

_Oh **FRAG** yes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm a bastard for leaving it on that note. It's a bit short, but I'm trying to figure if I should keep the smut separate from the plot or not. What do you all think? Also, you can't tell me that Megatron has a thing for poetry and doesn't get all flustered in sticky situations. That's the biggest poet mood of all. Eloquent in the streets, what the fuck in the sheets.


	4. Static Electricity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The F I L T H aka: Roddy gets some. Good for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo boy. I didn't expect to be gone for so long but, eh. Holidays when you are a student and work are rough. It's a bit short but I think this is what most people were waiting for though!

Rodimus wasn’t exactly sure how the day was going to go with his heat fully beginning, but if he knew it was going to wind up with Megatron sliding his glossa against his he would have likely passed out from laughing in disbelief. He slid his servos up Megatron’s chassis plating and moaned into his mouth only to be met with Megatron’s massive servos slide across his waist. Rodimus put one of his hands around Megatron’s helm closer to him as he tried to close all the distance between the two of them. He squeaked when he felt Megatron’s servos slide down his frame and pull him in closer, grasping frantically at his hips. Rodimus’ fans were kicking into overdrive and he broke away from the kiss to exvent and Megatron slid down, kissing and nipping at his neck cabling as Rodimus could barely keep his needy squeaks in. Rodimus began grabbing at Megatron’s shoulder to steady himself as his legs started to feel a bit too wobbly with the onslaught of glossa on his cabling as he let out a throaty moan. Megatron pulled away after a bit and put his helm in the crook of Rodimus’ neck.

“Are you sure about this?” His voice was heavy with static and Rodimus felt his knees start to give out.

_Don’t get all gentlemanly on me now_

“Yes. Please. I consent, whatever you need to hear, yes! Just stop stopping already!” Rodimus whined, leaning his helm backwards looking at the ceiling. This was a difficult enough situation to be in without the constant asking from Megatron, now Rodimus felt worried that this was just his heat coding effecting Megatron, or worse, that Megatron didn’t believe Rodimus when he told him that he can control himself and he’s not just driven by blind lust in his heat. He then felt a glossa against his neck cabling and whimpered again. 

He clutched at Megatron as he felt his legs start to go out from under him. He tried to step backwards to lead them both into the berth, but his knees hit the ridge and Rodimus fell backwards into the berth. He looked up at Megatron above him and felt his plating flare up. His optics were full of craving, his field was merging and thick with arousal, and he was exventing heavily.

_OH FRAG ME_

Megatron kneeled at the edge of the berth and licked a stripe up Rodimus’ panel and Rodimus yelped in response. He lifted himself on his elbow joints and looked at Megatron, meeting his heated gaze.

“Open for me please, captain.” Rodimus’ fans stuttered.

_OH FRAAAAAAAAG_

His panel snapped open and his spike pressurized immediately, and Rodimus winced at the pain from it being forced back into its housing before Megatron showed up at his hab and moaned at the relief of it being freed. He heard the splash of lubricant hitting the berth and felt is faceplates heat up in embarrassment for being in such a state in front of Megatron. He felt a servo wrap against his thigh and he made eye contact with Megatron, impossible heat behind his optics as his helm was dangerously close to his interfacing array.   
Rodimus’ engine revved in anticipation. 

_But he did agree to interface with a mech in desperate heat, soooo_

Before he could think about that for too long, he felt Megatron’s glossa against his valve folds and keened, his elbows giving out and falling flat into the berth. Rodimus bit his lip plates to muffle his moans in a weak attempt to try to appear in control of his situation. His plating shuffled slightly, and he felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his spinal strut and the warnings on his HUD slowly disappeared, but not because he was ignoring them this time. Megatron flicked his glossa against Rodimus’ anterior node and Rodimus’ back arched and he let out a whine.

“Megs…” Megatron chuckled and continued his lapping against the sensitive area. He circled his glossa against Rodimus’ anterior node and Rodimus threw his arm over his optics as he felt fluid collect in them.

_Oh frag me, it has been waaay too long since I’ve interfaced. I can’t be sobbing now_

As soon as that thought left his processor, he felt a charge sneak up on him and his thighs started shaking. Megatron seemed to notice this and slipped a digit into Rodimus’ valve as he focused his glossa on his node and Rodimus jerked up on the berth and yelped as he started to reach his overload. His whole frame was shaking and crackling with his charge. His thighs clamped around Megatron’s helm as his back arched off the berth and his vocalizer reset after a silent scream in his overload. He felt his armor all rattle in place and steam shot through his plating, like all the tension that had been pushed down just got released. After his thighs stopped shaking, he seemed to fall back into reality and his berth. He could still feel Megatron’s servos at his valve and whimpered as he slowly became more aware of his surroundings.

_I can’t believe it went so quickly_

He saw seven messages disappear from his HUD and exvented in relief, at least some things were being handled now. He slowly propped himself up again to look at Megatron who was now two digits into Rodimus’ valve.

_Oh frag_

Just the sight alone was sending Rodimus back into the berth whimpering. He started bucking his hips into Megatron’s hand.

“Meeeegs…Don’t tease me like this.” He whined; his vocalizer heavy with static. Megatron looked up to meet Rodimus’ optics and gave him a smirk.

_FRAGGERRRRRRRRR_

“Rodimus, do you prefer your spike or your valve when you’re in heat?” Megatron rumbled while Rodimus struggled to keep his optics on him. He tried to answer the question but kept hiccupping and whining when Megatron flexed his digits inside Rodimus’ valve. Rodimus gritted his denta and fisted his berth sheets as he tried to think of an answer.

_He’s trying to kill me_

“Rodimus, do you want me to take control here or do you want to be the mech on top?” Hearing Megatron offer himself to be the bottom in every sense of the term made Rodimus’ optics roll back into his helm at the thought of his larger co-captain laying on the berth beneath him, meeting his thrusts, optics flickering as he’d send the former warlord into overload, he’d rock his hips into him mercilessly through his overload, venting heavily with steam cascading off his frame, coating his insides with transfluid-

“Aaah!” Rodimus yelped as his thought was interrupted when he felt Megatron insert a third digit into his dripping valve, further stretching the sensitive mesh, sending three more HUD messages to Rodimus, which he felt very inclined to comply with.

“My...ah- my valve-? Oh Primus!” Rodimus managed to choke out in between Megatron’s thrusting servos. “I can’t… I can’t be- ah frag- on top. My legs…ah…frag it…I can’t sit uuup. Ohh Meeegs.” He felt oral lubricant slide out of his mouth and streak his face as he kept his mouth wide open, constantly resetting his vocalizer through his hiccups.

_I can’t have a second overload. Not yet-_

Although he was grinding his heel struts into the berth in an attempt to fight the charge building through Megatron’s digits circling and thrusting into his valve, he felt the electricity crackle between his thighs and gritted his denta as the familiar shock rolled through his frame again. The optic fluid threatened to spill over at this point and Rodimus felt his helm roll to the side, partially out of embarrassment to look at Megatron in such a state. He felt his frame rattle at the shock of the overload and he exvented deeply and offlined his optics. A warning blip on his HUD appeared, but he ignored it when he felt the heat return to his array and whined in frustration, then he felt the fluid spill over his optics.

_Perfect_

Rodimus felt a servo under his chin tilt his helm off the berth and he onlined his optics to be met with Megatron’s heated gaze. He whimpered and leaned forward to pull him in for a kiss, his servos reaching up to Megatron’s shoulders to bring him in closer. He felt Megatron’s glossa slide against his and heard his engine rev in response. Megatron was slowly coming to settle over Rodimus’ frame, the anticipation starting to make the smaller mech nervous about what was to come. He heard the sound of an interface panel snapping open and felt Megatron pull away from the kiss. Rodimus was venting heavily as he looked up at Megatron, oral lubricant running off his chin, optic fluid stained his face, Rodimus wasn’t sure how lewd his face looked aside from that, but he knew it was something. Megatron’s gaze was dark, but a soft glow was hiding behind his red optics, something Rodimus would occasionally feel in his field, only for it to retreat before Rodimus could put a name to the feeling. Before he could dwell on that for long, he felt a sudden weight on his abdomen and glanced down to see Megatron’s spike laying across his pelvic plating.

_OH_

It was big. No. It was HUGE. Not that Rodimus had extensively thought about how proportionally accurate Megatron’s spike might be, it was bigger than he had expected. It was gray, like the rest of the mech, the tip was black, and it had red biolights along the shaft, pulsating softly. Rodimus bit his lip as a HUD disappeared from his view. He couldn’t hold out much longer. Not at this point.

“Megs… _please_. I need this.” Rodimus heard his vocalizer hiccup a few times. “-need you.”

Megatron grunted and Rodimus let out a low moan when he felt Megatron’s spike begin to push into his valve. He was going slow, not trying to hurt Rodimus, the stretch would almost be painful if Rodimus wasn’t so prepared by the attentive digits and the excessive lubricant from his heat. Rodimus was panting and whining the more Megatron pushed himself in, his calipers clenching around the intruding spike. Megatron let out a choking noise and Rodimus heard him reset his vocalizer as he kept pushing in. Rodimus threw his helm back harshly when Megatron bottomed out and hit his tank. 

Rodimus’ intake was wide open in a silent moan, his optics flickered for a moment.

“A-are you alright?” He heard Megatron choke out, his frame cool against Rodimus’ blazing one. He aggressively nodded as he tried to remember how to speak.

“Yes! Primus, yes! Just- ah… start moving… please-!” Megatron didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled away, almost until he was out, then agonizingly slowly pushed himself back in to the hilt. Rodimus keened and when Megatron started pulling out slowly again, he hooked his leg around Megatron’s hip and began thrusting up into the retreating spike, causing Megatron to let out a moan. Rodimus revved his engine and whined as he kept thrusting. Megatron changed his pace, he started thrusting deep into the flame mech, earning whimpers and squeaks from him. It was getting harder to keep his body and coding under control, with each thrust he felt himself give into his coding more and more. His frame kept rattling making it harder for Rodimus to meet Megatron’s thrusts with his own. He also became more and more aware of his desperate sounds resonating inside his hab. Megatron grunted when he felt Rodimus smack him in the chest so hard there was a paint transfer.

“Frag it, say something! Don’t be so quiiiii- ahhh…” Rodimus’ criticizing was cut off by his moans as Megatron hit a cluster of nodes just in the right spot he forgot what he was mad about in the first place. Rodimus was trying to meet Megatron’s thrusts again, desperate for another overload.

“Rodimus, Rodimus, _ahhh_. You feel so good, you’re- ah- doing so good…”

_EXCUSE ME WHILE I OVERLOAD TO DEATH_

Rodimus yelped and felt his optics brighten up as he went over into his third overload and his entire frame shook with his charge, the only sensation he could recognize was the sound and feeling of Megatron rapidly thrusting into him still. Charge was already building up again when a familiar feeling hit Rodimus like a punch to the helm as a HUD flashed and his fuel ran cold for a click.

“Megs! I- ah! I’m gonna offline!” He spat out between moans. He weakly reached for Megatron’s arms, who stuttered in his thrusting at the statement.

“What?” Rodimus felt his optics flicker and let out a shaky whine, and he felt Megatron’s servo tilt his helm. “Rodimus? Rodimus? Stay with me. Come on.” His voice was calm and soothing, despite the panic Rodimus felt in his field. Rodimus felt a sloppy grin stretch across his face.

“s’ okay. Keep going, I need- to get through my heat. I trust you. I trust you Megs. I trust-” Rodimus felt himself slip under, the last thing he recognized before he offlined was the HUD message.

OFFLINE PROCEDURE COMMENCING: HEAT PROTOCOL ENGAGED UNTIL REBOOT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bastard, I know.


	5. Aftercare is different in romance novels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY PRIMUS. It's been a while since the last update. I can explain. Mental health, global pandemic, finishing my Bachelor's degree, and Animal Crossing came out too. I also started writing another work and now I'm juggling both of these. Woooooo. I promise I won't be away as long as this again! I definitely have the time now to work on this much more so yeah!

Rodimus felt heavy. Like his entire frame was buried under a million tons of rubble. Maybe a planet crashed on top of him.

 _That would be an improvement to my situation._ He thought. Then his processor started catching up to what had happened. He at first realized his optics were offline, and he was laying in his berth under a few blankets. He remembered running off to his habsuite and then someone came to his door- 

_OH_ He slowly onlined his optics. He remembered why he offlined and felt his frame warm slightly. 

_OH NO_ He could hear the water running in his washracks and see the light filtering through to his room. He slowly sat up, waiting for the pings from his HUD but none came. He started feeling more nervous than he had the previous cycles. He threw the blankets off his frame and instantly felt his spark spin in his case. He looked as if he had just applied polish to his frame, he was shining and definitely not the worse for wear and several mega cycles into a heat like he was earlier. 

_When did this happen?_

He was _NOT_ freaking out. Ok, maybe a little. 

_Maybe I just dreamed this whole thing._ He turned towards the open door to the washracks, the sound resonating in his audial receptors. He felt tempted to get up and investigate. 

_Is Megatron back there? There’s no way it was a dream, I don’t have any warnings. Like ZERO. The only way for them to go away is interfacing or getting a shunt. I know there’s no way I got a shunt mid-heat…_

He was about to swing his legs over the berth when he heard the water cut off. Rodimus panicked and grabbed the berth covers and bundled up in them, trying to make it look as if nothing had moved since he woke up. The sound of footsteps approaching and the washrack door shutting were almost enough to make him jump. He could hear rummaging in his cabinets and hear a faint clink near the berth and then the footsteps retreated somewhere else into the hab and stopped completely. 

_Great, guess I gotta move at some point._

Rodimus sat up in the berth and first noticed Megatron sitting on the other side of the room, who jolted upwards when he saw Rodimus moving. He next thing Rodimus noticed was the source of the clink was a cube of energon next to him on the table. He slowly reached for it and took a tentative sip as Megatron attempted to interject something, but he couldn’t pay attention in the slightest. 

”-and… are you listening?” Megatron huffed when he realized Rodimus was far away somewhere else. Rodimus set down the drained cube and started to feel the numbness in his frame fade away. The heaviness remained. In some rather suspect areas to boot. 

”What, exactly, happened after I offlined?” Rodimus looked down at his servos in his lap, bracing himself for whatever was coming next. 

_What the frag do you think? Why are you acting so hurt about this? Isn’t it what you wanted?_ The voice angrily buzzed in his helm, feeding his insecurities. Megatron exvented and rose from his seat and moved over to Rodimus and sat next to him. 

”Well, after you offlined, we… continued to fulfil your heat protocol.” Megatron explained, nervous energy seeping through his field, Rodimus reluctantly keeping his field to himself unsure what could go wrong in the scenario. Rodimus didn’t speak, Megatron took this as a means to continue his explanation. “Your mind was offlined, but uh… how do I explain it? You were still awake?” Rodimus felt his shoulders sag. 

_There it is._

”Yeah. That happens. I didn’t do anything weird, did I?” Rodimus hated this so much. Another weird side of him that Megatron was exposed to. It was bad enough Drift had seen that side, but now Megatron? This was a bad idea. 

”Not particularly. Ah… You did request that I, uh, provide you ample amounts of transfluid, but not phrased like that.” Rodimus hid his face in his servos, feeling his armor heat up. _OH BOY. Dirty talk to Megs and I don’t even remember it. Primus, how did he react to_ THAT. _Frag._ Megatron shifted slightly. “You also grabbed my shoulder plate hard enough to dent it.” Rodimus shot his gaze to Megatron’s shoulder plate immediately after that statement left his intake. Sure enough, the remains of a dent were in his plating. It looked as if he tried to buff out the damage at some point, however. 

”Frag, sorry about that Megs. I guess I just get too crazy when that happens.” Rodimus felt hot with embarrassment. When he last got into a mindbreak situation he bit harshly into Drift’s fuel line on his neck and burst a section in the process. It had startled Drift so bad that it could have gone much worse if Rodimus hadn’t come around when he did. Megatron seemed unaffected. 

“Interfacing with a mech in heat usually goes more violently than your case, especially one that was as pent up as yours in those types of situations. Besides, no real harm done.” Rodimus felt his spoiler twitch up. “I did however force your casing to close during an attempted merge.” 

_Aaaand now it’s worse._ Out of all the ways for Rodimus to feel embarrassed, almost merging Sparks with Megatron is much too personal to bear. Hopefully Megatron will chalk it up to protocol taking over and him being way too clocked out to even know what he was doing, which would be correct, if he didn’t have a massive crush on the towering former warlord. He could feel his spoiler twitch about nervously. 

”I understand that coding, especially if in a state such as yours, pushes forward the instinct to spark merge, so no need to worry on your part.” Rodimus internally felt relief wash over him after hearing Megatron relay that to him. A small part of him was a bit upset, but he would never admit to that. Rodimus fidigeted with the paint on his servos when a thought ran through his processor. 

”Hey, not that I’m ungrateful or suspicious or anything, but how long has it been since I clocked out there?” He vaguely gestured to the berth they were sitting on. Megatron’s optics brightened for a second and he turned his helm quickly away. 

_Is…. Is he shy about something?_

”Well, you’ve been out for at least six cycles… but you were… ‘functioning’ for three of them.” Rodimus’ spoiler jerked upwards in shock. 

”I what?” Rodimus exclaimed, pushing forward towards Megatron, who barely made the effort to regain eye contact. “I was… we were… I mean… You and I, for that long?” Rodimus could barely form sentences he was so thrown for a loop. Megatron looked down, he was not here for any eye contact. 

”Heat coding is not exactly something that all bots are immune from, me included.” Rodimus felt his armor heat up at the honest statement. “And once this is over, I suggest you head to the medbay. I… may have gotten caught up in the moment and I don’t want you to brush off any injuries should you have any.” Rodimus almost laughed when he heard that. 

”Sorry, what? You got too ‘caught up?’ What do you even mean? Gave me a bit too much spike and I gagged?” He did snicker now, Megatron finally looked him in the optics, a disapproving glance Rodimus had grown used to seeing. 

_Ok, NOW you’re making me nervous._

“Maybe you should give yourself a proper inspection.” Megatron grimaced as he rose from the berth. “If you need more energon, let me know. I won’t have you holding out on fuel.” Rodimus still had a smirk splayed across his face plate and he shook his helm as he started looking over his shiny and polished plating. 

”Frag, Megs. You polished me. If this is what you consider damage, then you should hit up an-“ Rodimus never finished that statement when he caught something in his optics. A large discolored spot on his hip strut, right where he had the faintest idea of a memory of being grabbed by large servos there while being slammed into. It was cracked slightly and the paint was completely worn off. If he wasn’t so careful with him, Megatron might have actually nearly crushed his armor there. It made the dent on Megatron’s shoulder seem insignificant in comparison. Rodimus nervously ran his servos over his fuel lines on his neck, no punctures. His spoiler sagged in relief, only to have a slight sting shoot through the structure. “What-ah- happened to my spoiler?” He managed to get out while trying to reach for the sore spot. Megatron looked back at Rodimus and shifted on his pedes. 

”You, ah, arched your back very suddenly and rammed your spoiler into my chest plate and dented the seam on the lower left side.” Rodimus felt around until his digits brushed against the tender and crooked metal area and hissed at the contact. “I applied some polish because I thought it would at least slightly make up for your paint transfer and… ah. I possibly really hurt you Rodimus.” Rodimus notices there was a slight trace of hot orange and red paint on Megatron’s servos and he felt his spoiler twitch slightly. 

”From what I can tell, you did a bang up job on this polish and you are really overblowing this. I’m the one who actually really screwed up your shoulder. You probably just held onto my hip to hold me down!” Rodimus laughed, trying to ease Megatron’s mood. He just watched the back of the former warlord visibly tense. 

_STOP FRAGGING THIS UP_

”No… I got carried away. It won’t happen again.” Rodimus felt his spark do flips. _AGAIN????_ Megatron started to turn slightly towards Rodimus, but faltered, as if he was contemplating something. 

”Again? You’d do this again?” Rodimus let a sliver of hope into his mood now. 

”You’re still in heat, it’s only calmed down momentarily.” Rodimus felt heat blossom across his plating, but not the kind he had been displeased with lately. “But I think it unwise for you and I to engage in that again. If you become ‘offline’ like that again and I am left alone to your safety, it might not be as harmless as you believe then. I do not wish to give anyone added reasons to not trust me, and I believe crushing the captain in the middle of his heat cycle seems one of the worst ways to get on everyone’s scrap list.” And now that sliver of hope was splintered into microscopic fragments. He should have known better than to get his hopes up about this. 

”So you’re leaving me alone here? That doesn’t sound the safest option either.” Rodimus tried to influence Megatron with his own warnings from earlier. “I need a partner to get through this heat, and I trust you.” Megatron now turned completely around and stared directly into Rodimus’ optics. 

”No. Not me. I’ll wait here until you call someone. It won’t be me. I’m not leaving you alone. If you throw some type of tantrum, I’ll just send for Ratchet. He won’t let you get away with harboring a heat unchecked in your position.” Rodimus felt anger and humiliation bubble up into his field and unfortunately it was so strong he could feel it brush against Megatron’s. Cold and stoic about the situation. 

_I’m an idiot._

”Fine.” He sent a message to Drift, fluid beginning to collect on his optics in shame and anger, but he managed to hide it well enough. 

_Drift, you there?_

Rodimus glared up at Megatron from the other side of the habsuite. 

”I messaged someone. I know they’ll respond and head here. You gonna keep a close eye on me and be a voyeur or can I have some Primus damned privacy here?” He might have felt guilty if he didn’t feel so _USED_. Megatron shook his helm. 

”No, I’ll head out. But if I see you out wandering the ship before you should be, I’ll call for Ratchet.” Rodimus balled his servos beneath the blanket and watched Megatron exit the habsuite without another word. Rodimus balled up with his knees against his chest plate and bit his lip and tried to control what little he could with his rampaging emotions. How could he be this stupid? He told Megatron himself that he knew what he wanted, what he needed. He couldn’t even control himself. He felt like a sparkling who had been caught in a goodie jar. Why was this happening when they just did what they set out to do? Frag like a set of petro rabbits, not deal with emotional and psychological nonsense about a state of mind. And why the frag should Megatron care? Is it clinical or is it underlying an actual layer of some truth to not wanting to hurt Rodimus for some other reason? No, it was stupid to hope. Look where it wound up. He felt his spoiler twitch and shake, the dull sting barely there in his processor. 

_Roddy, are you ok? Do you need me to come by?_

Rodimus felt his tank turn at the thought and felt the hot splash of optical fluid streak down his face plate as the familiar tingling heat spread across his frame. 

_Please. I need you now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But hey at least I graduated with honors. I have priorities. I also spiraled when quarantine started.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to keep this updated as much as possible!


End file.
